As with any life-changing decision, it is so important to give yourself some time to slow down, take a deep breath, and get accurate information that can help you make an informed decision. Adoption is one of those informed choices you can make. There are no commitments in exploring adoption, and our client advocates will provide information and referrals to agencies where you can do just that. Here are a few of the common questions women ask when considering adoption:
How could I ever give my baby away?
If you are considering adoption, you may think it means you are uncaring, selfish, or do not love your child. Considering adoption is not about “giving your baby away,” it is about caring for the kind of life you want for your child and whether you are ready or able to provide that life.
Who could care for my baby better than me?
It is understandable to feel unsure about another person raising your baby or that only you are qualified to care for your child. Potential adoptive families must be approved by the adoption agency of your choice and must meet standards that are shared with you. Your agency will complete a thorough assessment of potential adoptive families before ever placing your child in someone else’s care. If you choose to have an open or semi-open adoption, you also have the opportunity to see for yourself how well your child is cared for and how much your child is loved.
Could I live without knowing how my baby is doing?
Again, you do not have to miss out! With open or semi-open adoptions, you can be a part of your child’s life and still pursue your dreams and achieve your own goals.
Will my child hate me for placing him or her up for adoption?
Statistics show that 92 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption (National Survey of Adoptive Parents Project. 2007).
wHAT ARE THE NEXT STEPS I SHOULD TAKE?
If you are considering adoption as the best plan for you and your child, your next decisions will be: “What do I want my child’s adoption to look like?” and “What kind of relationship do I want to have with the adoptive family?” The choice is up to you. Birth parents get to be in control of the adoption plan they make and usually choose between three types of adoption: open, semi-open, and closed:
- Open Adoption – You will have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family throughout and after the adoption takes place.
- Semi-Open Adoption – Allows you to have limited communication to your child and the adoptive family. You can receive letters and photos of your child but the communication between you and the family would be mediated by an agency or a third party.
- Closed Adoption – Means there is no contact with the adoptive parents before, during, or after your pregnancy. You also will not receive photos or letters or have any communication with your child as he or she grows up.
Whichever type of adoption you choose, it is a wise decision to get counseling that can help you adjust after your baby is born and plan for the future. Our client advocates will help you get connected with the information and agencies that will assist you through this process.
To learn more about how we can support you in this decision, call us at 612-522-6589
(2015 Bethany Christian Services. www.bethany.org)